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Thursday, 19 May 2011

The Magic Word

Some of my readers have told me that at times they really cannot stand the behaviors of their partners. In their reality, their partners is the one at wrong. Thus, it is inevitable that they get angry; they shout, they yell, they say things which hurt, they do things which they regret doing later, and they think it's all due to their partner’s faults.


I'm not going to argue with you here that your partner could be right. Yes, his/her behaviors or way of handling things might be unacceptable and undesirable at times.



If your goal is to have a healthy and long lasting relationship with your partner. Know this truth. Love and Anger are two sides of the same coin, even though they may seem poles apart. Love is the positive deep feelings you have for your partner; while anger is the negative expression of the very same feeling.


Don't run away from conflicts and anger. Face them. Make them your friends instead of foes.

But how do you deal with anger when it's becoming overwhelming?


1. Understand the conflict and disagreements you have with your partner.

Stop fighting each other. You have the power to make THAT choice. Team up against the problem that is creating the conflict. Focus on problem solving instead.


2. Know that your partner might be in a different reality than you.

If he is in one reality; and you are in another reality, it is difficult to come to a complete agreement with things. Let the problems rest. Watch out for signs which you'll intuitively know that will be the best time and day to have a good talk with your partner. When both of you are in a receptive mood, you can talk!


 
3. If you do not understand you situation, if you do not understand your partner; but your goal is to keep the relationship. Practice and remember this magic word - Forgiveness. It may not be easy, but do it anyway. If it's not for your sake, do it for your relationship's sake.


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